Trapped?

Over the past week or so some of my friends have come up to me and told me that I did not seem like my normal self. That I did not seem as happy as I had for he past several months, or as long as they had known me. So I had to dig deep within myself to see what was wrong and why people were saying this because I had not realized that I had been acting this way.

I found deep within myself an odd feeling of ENTRAPMENT? I felt something in my life that had been there before, but was at the present time missing.

Over the past 8 semesters I have been in Auburn either working or taking classes. These 8 semesters started after I got back from a summer working in Yellowstone National Park. It was an unforgettable summer where I got to see things and go places where very few people in this world get to see and go. Over these past three years I have felt an emptiness inside myself, that I didn't realize until now, of a longing for nature and the beauty of he surroundings that God has placed around us.

From late January to mate March I had an extreme excitement inside me of a wonderful opportunity that I hoped that I would have his summer, Camp Wojtyla, a Catholic outdoor adventure camp in the heart of the rocky mountain wilderness.  After extended periods of talking about it to a great friend and amazing person Allison Savrda, who went last year and has the opportunity to go again this upcoming summer, I really felt God calling me there, which apparently was not the case, at least not for this summer.  I got the news in an email at the tail end of spring break and I guess I have not really known how heart broken i am about not having this opportunity until now.

Now i am not saying that I don't love Auburn.  Because the last few months have been some of the happiest of my time in the Loveliest Village on the Plains, through the amazing, strong, and faithful Catholic Student Organization there.  And I would not trade a moment that I have spent in Auburn for anything in the world.

I feel like a Lion in the zoo.  An animal that was not made for captivity.  An animal made to be out in the wild.  And with the next 3 semesters, summer, fall, and spring (after this 11 straight semesters at Auburn), already lined up with classes, or the knowledge that classes will be taken during that time, this feeling continues to grow and weigh deeper on me.

So where do I go from here?  How do I escape this feeling of being trapped?

One weekend here and one weekend there does not seem like enough for me.

What to do?